Just write and believe.

At the beginning stages of my story planning, I was frustrated as I had lots of ideas but none of them made much sense.
I knew that I had to set a time a side to allow the words to flow, to actually start writing. So every afternoon after my son was down for his nap, I began a ritual: kitchen table cleaned and my ideas folder neatly laid out, I would close my eyes and take a deep breath in. For me it was all about being mindful and in the moment, as little distractions as possible as my time was limited.
I had about an hour and a half to get some productive ideas and spider diagram down or at least half a chapter written.
With an empty page and ideas flittering around my mind, I had to just write, get it out and visualize the story.
The more I tried to force out my ideas and create a meaningful story the more I became frazzled. I realised this whole writing lark would be a lot harder then I had expected.  I had a story… but how could I write it and for it make sense.

My trusted note pad was always at my side… inspiration and ideas sparked at the most inconvenient times, like just as I was about to nod off to sleep, or on the toilet, in the shower, or whilst my toddler was getting into the fridge.

It seemed experience was key, drawing ideas from my day to day life was then magnified and created a doorway to my imagination in which a whole other world was built.
After one idea, another branched from it and so on. I had begun my story.
After about 5 months of fitting these ideas in some sort of order I was able to start writing. The story got deeper and deeper, to a point where I couldn’t stop, my  brain rattled.
Knowing when to stop a story and iron out the details, keeping it simple  but meaningful was tricky. Once the draft was written a major editing cut was essential.

I never believed in this lifetime I would have the mental capacity to actually plan an in depth story- well, for me.
I was brought up in a family where clever words and snide remarks were the  norm, my father couldn’t read nor write. Even though I had a good education I felt I wasn’t good enough to write, because somehow I had it in my genes. If I said something that didn’t make sense or was backwards my family would throw their heads back and laugh, ‘Oh you’re your father’s daughter.’
Which would instantly make me feel less worthy and stupid.  But that in it’s self is mean, there is nothing wrong with my father. He is learning everyday and in most cases it’s a brain disfunction- not lack of education (which was the case for my father)
So as a child you hear these criticisms day in, day out. So I would expect writing or anything to do with literature or self expression would be far from realistic. 

But here I am today, I have written a 49,000 word story, which may not be the best or even close but it’s the time, lessons and the persistence that I put in that I’m proud of.
I did it!  Which is something my family never thought id be able to do,  or myself.

Even to this day I’m nervous to show them because its not something they would expect me to try, let alone complete. Getting published is another task in itself, which I’m working towards; but to actually write a story is a great accomplishment. 

Any way- moral of the story… believe in yourself, don’t let anyone else put you down or tell you can’t do it. Thanks to the Internet today we can have access to self education when ever we desire. More now then ever we can learn and evolve with knowledge and understanding and then put that into practice and teach.

It is up to you to follow your dreams,  push your boundaries, test yourself, learn new things, inspire others and have fun all at the same time.  It is a choice so make it with conviction and love in your heart. You can do anything you set your mind to.
  
Annie k Baxter

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6 thoughts on “Just write and believe.

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  1. Writing; what a journey, and perhaps we all manage it differently. Both of my books seem to have been written through me rather than by me, because both were the result of some seemingly insignificant provocation. Then it poured out, for several months. Once the edit began, in came I, and so has the learning. I am fascinated every day. My favorite word: chariveti. It translates as, Go On.
    Thanks for stopping by.🌞

    Like

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